The night before my graduation, I decided to go blog-hopping, just to have a good read before I go watch the newest episode of "Lost" and then go to sleep. I was able to come across Jessica Mendoza's blog through one of my friends, and I read about her own blog post about graduation.
With that, I was also able to think and ponder about my own graduation, my own way of going through change. And this is an enigmatic feeling for me, something that I cannot really describe fully and say that "this is it." Ironically, I received the fact that I was graduating as a dramatic change in my life, and yet I also felt that it's a single event that passes by, and once it's over, it's done. But digging deeper to the real meaning of this academic ritual, I believe that it is a time of acknowledging yourself that used to be, meeting a new you that is out there, waiting to be restructured.
So with that, I would like to describe this stage of transition, which is my own way of saying goodbye to almost fifteen years of required education and saying welcome to what lies beyond (I'm not saying that I will say goodbye to academics, it's just that I think that it will be different this time around. I am also anticipating my return for theological studies as well.
Yesterday, I went up the stage to receive my college diploma, together with my medals for graduating cum laude, as well as being the program awardee for philosophy. All the jitters, pretty strong heartbeats, and my support team (thank you, philo and hum friends, and a bit of the others too!) applauding me aside, I really saw this as pointing to two specific directions. First, looking back to all the good memories I had in college, all the gifts and blessings that I have received and have put forward, and second, moving on, treasuring and everything and at the same time learning to let go of what has happened, looking beyond what I am today and seeing what I could be.
As I realized, going up to the stage points to various memories on the hill where I stayed for four years.
First, it brought memories on being a college seminarian of San Jose. There goes the seminary structures, where we have to wake up early every day, go to Mass, and return after class for prayers, dinner, recreation, and study periods. It brings me back to the identity that I carry around, as a man of the cloth, with all the surprised reactions ("Magpapari ka ba talaga?!?!?!") and the thoughts, opinions, dispositions, and everything else that comes with the identity of the seminarian. It brought me back to all the fun moments and conflicts that come along with seminary formation - the personalities, the issues, the schedules, the spiritual, academic, communal, and apostolic life that we have lived. And of course, the overall growth that came along it.
And inseparable to that is my second set of memories, as an Atenean. It brought me back to my second family and community - the Philosophy block and the Deparment. It brought me to the discipline that we have altogether learned in doing philosophy and sharing our thoughts with each other, engaging ourselves in conversations (and jokes as well) while everyone passes by saying "Ano raw?" It brought me to the precious moments with my block, the various tambayan stories, the intellectual jokes, the games of bluff and tong-its, and all the times we have spent working and being together (yes, including those Calasanz long tests). It brought me to the times of maturity, of writing and reading philosophical texts and making sense of them at the right times and the right moments, making serious talk about various things such as growing up, facing the future, and even the mushy topics such as love and feelings over bottles of beer. And there are also that of immaturity, where we playfully joke about each other and make simple fun out of ourselves.
Yes, these are the college memories that I will keep, the college, and these are the ones that I'm definitely going to keep. These are the moments that I will not forget, the moments which remind me of the joys and tears, the laughing years of life in the hill.
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