Giving relationship advice or just listening to the stories of others isn't something new to me. I have been doing that since high school, and I for the past eight or so years, I have listened to a lot of stories. Some were happy, some were sad. Some were simply magical, while some were tragic. Some grow, some die out. And finally, some decide to continue, while others would say that things have to be over in order to grow.
And looking back, the whole experience struck me. I'm surprised to find out that I have talked to a lot of people. I have listened to a lot of stories about love, and I have given my side to them. I'm not sure if the things were really right or really helpful, but I believe that most of them makes sense and would really help a person with his or her struggle in relationships.
But believe it or not, I am just one of those who read and think about love. Sure, I've read all those Joshua Harris books that had all the Christian love stuff discussed (though there are things there I do not subscribe to), I have read and interpreted M. Scott Peck's "Love Defined" over and over again. I have read and written about philosophers and their philosophies that talked about love. I have watched, over and over again, (500) Days of Summer and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. But only a little of them proved to be really helpful in real life.
I couldn't even tell a story about myself, because the chapters in my life that I had a few love stories of my own were lame and awkward. Looking back at all of those, I don't even think that there's anything, in its strict definition, real happened. Nothing of those ever became real relationships, with any full commitment involved. All of them were superficial, but involved a play of emotions and decisions.
Perhaps the only thing that I have to hold on in coming up with these pieces of advice would be the stories I hear from other people. It's their own struggles to let people in their lives that made me think about love. It's their happy and sad points in life that helped me see what it feels like to love and be in love. But then, these can only provide very little to help me.
And then I realized that there was something I'm forgetting. I forgot that love is analogous, that whatever kind of love you experience, there is always something that's partly similar in all of these, and yet there are things that set each experience of love apart. Perhaps, I tell myself, what makes me think about love, speak about love, and help others about love, is that I myself have experienced love, albeit in a different manner. My idea of love might not be in committed relationships, but it's in my family, in my friends, in my friends' loves, in my vocation, and of course, my personal love stories.
Those ideas of love where in the consolations, the desolations, the joys, the sorrows, the pleasantries, the pains, the happiness, the sadness, and in the glory of love working in my everyday life, whether it is something I experience, my friends experience, or in the simple movies, quotes, posters, books, and essays that just strike me. It is in all things superficial and profound. It is everywhere, and what I just did is to listen to it, give meaning to it, and pass my own thoughts to others.
In the end, those things that I have given to others were those that have been already given to me. It is not something out of my own in itself. Rather, it is all of those insights on love brought together and re-delivered to fit the needs of those who would want to listen. It is not a one-way process either, for in talking about love, I also receive insights. I also become invited to think about the things I have said and what the others I have said. In the end, it becomes the exchange of discourses on love that brings out insight and wisdom.
So even though I know I'm not the best in doing all of those, I would continue. Despite not being an expert, I know I could say something, and I will continue to speak, because it is only then that I let others know what I have learned and talked about, and it is only then that I really learn about love.
And in the end, I just hope that I will be presiding over the marriage of those whom I have talked to. And I'll really be happy for them like I also love and am loved .
